Magnets: aren't they just great? They're in everything, from toys, to medical equipment, to batteries, and even in your headphones. Personally, I like to put the two earpieces of my headphones together and let them repel one another, like two worms fighting. But seriously, they are amazing. So amazing, that our world is pretty much held together by them, the North Magnetic Pole and the South Magnetic Pole. There is however another type of magnet, something that is embedded apparently within us all, but the force is only strong in some cases. I am talking about The Weirdo Magnet.
Never heard of it? Think it doesn't exist? Well as someone who apparently the force is very strong with, take it from me, it exists. I like to think that everyone has an internal weirdo magnet buried somewhere deep within. Some people are open with theirs and thereby attract the mentallers. Others keep theirs well hidden behind newspapers and angry looks and headphones. Mine, is apparently open to the public all day and all night, leading me to wonder if there is some Weirdo Magnet Monthly publication listing my details without me knowing. I have many, many tales of weirdo's being attracted to me, through no fault of my own, all of my friends can attest to that.
Really, location doesn't matter. They will find me: on river cruises, outside pubs, on the street, shopping centres, other people's parties, friends of friends, you name it, they'll find me.
It seems to happen particularly often on buses. To me, buses are the true Mecca for weirdo's, they seem to be drawn to public transport, buses in particular, like wasps to....well anything really. It's why I tend to avoid buses wherever possible. At least on the Tube, people don't really talk to each other, even when you are in a group with your friends. Being a Tube passenger, you can be totally undisturbed for the entire journey. Bus passengers however, are fair game, and some seem to be more enticing than others. Maybe it's because I am actually an OK kind of person. Unless I really have to be, I cannot be a total bitch to people, even to strangers who I don't know and will probably never meet again, it's just not in me to do. I think that because of this lack of bitch gene, I have developed a pheromone that sends out signals only picked up on by other unbalanced people. They see me they way the leopard sees a new baby caribou, the litter of the runt, easy pickings, a kindred weirdo spirit.
It doesn't matter whether or not I put on my headphones, a stranger has actually taken them out of my ears so he could talk to me about texting his mother on his new phone that was over a month old but still had the protective plastic covering over it. It doesn't matter whether or not I pretend to read the giant newspaper that I have put in front of my face to stop people from annoying me, the weirdo will still get through to me. It even doesn't matter when I do both, and when I am sitting quite a distance away from someone, case in point being the odd man on the bus from Galway one day who was sitting across the aisle and two seats up from where I was cocooned with a broadsheet and my music. He decided to lock in on me, and I made the fatal mistake of making eye contact with him. Though I was only on the bus with him for fifteen minutes, it was long enough for him to tell me his ancestry (Cork born, Galway parents) why he was in Galway (Cork vs Galway hurling match) why he was wearing two jerseys (you guessed it, a Cork and a Galway one as his loyalty was divided) where he was staying (Claregalway) why he was staying there (cheaper than the city, even when you factor in the bus and taxi fares) Now, somewhere in between this and him getting off the bus, I must have zoned out, because when I came too, he was waffling on about the party he had been at where he was dressed as a Nazi SS Officer and how much he admired that Hitler fella.
Much of my life is in fact taken over with the odd people, and meeting them randomly, it's an almost daily occurrence and while I sometimes complain about it, I do in fact enjoy it mostly. Yes, it would be nice if I could get through at least one public transport journey or one day without being harassed by mentallers. It would be lovely to be just left alone every now and then. But I do quite enjoy the fact the people seem to make a bee-line for me (I'm talking about the mentallers here, no one normal really approaches me off the bat) and feel that I am someone who they can talk to, share the issues (be it personal or psychological) with me, and that they see me as someone who can empathise with them. And to be honest, it's pretty much the lunatics that make the world go round, how very boring life would be without them.
Never heard of it? Think it doesn't exist? Well as someone who apparently the force is very strong with, take it from me, it exists. I like to think that everyone has an internal weirdo magnet buried somewhere deep within. Some people are open with theirs and thereby attract the mentallers. Others keep theirs well hidden behind newspapers and angry looks and headphones. Mine, is apparently open to the public all day and all night, leading me to wonder if there is some Weirdo Magnet Monthly publication listing my details without me knowing. I have many, many tales of weirdo's being attracted to me, through no fault of my own, all of my friends can attest to that.
Really, location doesn't matter. They will find me: on river cruises, outside pubs, on the street, shopping centres, other people's parties, friends of friends, you name it, they'll find me.
It seems to happen particularly often on buses. To me, buses are the true Mecca for weirdo's, they seem to be drawn to public transport, buses in particular, like wasps to....well anything really. It's why I tend to avoid buses wherever possible. At least on the Tube, people don't really talk to each other, even when you are in a group with your friends. Being a Tube passenger, you can be totally undisturbed for the entire journey. Bus passengers however, are fair game, and some seem to be more enticing than others. Maybe it's because I am actually an OK kind of person. Unless I really have to be, I cannot be a total bitch to people, even to strangers who I don't know and will probably never meet again, it's just not in me to do. I think that because of this lack of bitch gene, I have developed a pheromone that sends out signals only picked up on by other unbalanced people. They see me they way the leopard sees a new baby caribou, the litter of the runt, easy pickings, a kindred weirdo spirit.
It doesn't matter whether or not I put on my headphones, a stranger has actually taken them out of my ears so he could talk to me about texting his mother on his new phone that was over a month old but still had the protective plastic covering over it. It doesn't matter whether or not I pretend to read the giant newspaper that I have put in front of my face to stop people from annoying me, the weirdo will still get through to me. It even doesn't matter when I do both, and when I am sitting quite a distance away from someone, case in point being the odd man on the bus from Galway one day who was sitting across the aisle and two seats up from where I was cocooned with a broadsheet and my music. He decided to lock in on me, and I made the fatal mistake of making eye contact with him. Though I was only on the bus with him for fifteen minutes, it was long enough for him to tell me his ancestry (Cork born, Galway parents) why he was in Galway (Cork vs Galway hurling match) why he was wearing two jerseys (you guessed it, a Cork and a Galway one as his loyalty was divided) where he was staying (Claregalway) why he was staying there (cheaper than the city, even when you factor in the bus and taxi fares) Now, somewhere in between this and him getting off the bus, I must have zoned out, because when I came too, he was waffling on about the party he had been at where he was dressed as a Nazi SS Officer and how much he admired that Hitler fella.
Much of my life is in fact taken over with the odd people, and meeting them randomly, it's an almost daily occurrence and while I sometimes complain about it, I do in fact enjoy it mostly. Yes, it would be nice if I could get through at least one public transport journey or one day without being harassed by mentallers. It would be lovely to be just left alone every now and then. But I do quite enjoy the fact the people seem to make a bee-line for me (I'm talking about the mentallers here, no one normal really approaches me off the bat) and feel that I am someone who they can talk to, share the issues (be it personal or psychological) with me, and that they see me as someone who can empathise with them. And to be honest, it's pretty much the lunatics that make the world go round, how very boring life would be without them.
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